rules of engagement: ten commandments 

Honesty


Tell the truth at all times, even if you can not or will not follow a direct order. Even if I will “never know that you are lying.” First of all, I will know. Second of all, trust can not be based on lies, and will never be fulfilling if it is. I am not a part of your outside world. I am part of your inner world, and I demand absolute honesty and truthfulness from you. What you say remains with Me. Just tell the truth.




Obedience


I am in charge and that means you will follow My orders. A servant’s heart means that My will is more important than your own and My pleasure comes before your own. Does it hurt? The answer is not important. Are you obeying/pleasing Me? That is the question you should ask yourself. Put Me first, and let Me take the lead.




Respect


I am Sir Brian. Never "dude," "man," "bud," etc. Do not fail to address Me properly before speaking to Me or at the beginning of a communication. My preferred form of address is “Sir,” and I strongly dislike the use of "Master." You will answer questions clearly, maintain proper posture, and ask permission to engage. Take time to show your respect.




Gratitude


Always say thank you. If I punish you, thank Me. I am taking time and energy to teach you a lesson in self-improvement. If I reward you, thank Me. I have noted your efforts and found you worthy of reward. Be thankful for everything that I give to you and everything that I take from you.




Control


If I see you regularly, we will establish rituals and individual rules for you. They may include what you can wear, how and when you contact Me, or even tasks outside of your time with Me, if they are within your reach. During our time together, I am in control. I respect agreed upon interests and limits, but will not accept a "script" or any topping from the bottom. Accept that within given boundaries, you are giving up your control.




Chastity


I am a professional Dominant and a lifestyler. I prefer to keep My visitors in chastity during their time with Me, both because it is one of My personal kinks, and because it fits very well with a professional setting, but I understand some things are limits for everyone. I still expect a form of sexual chastity from you: I will not “get you off” or tolerate open unrequited sexual advances. Sexual release or orgasm is not the end goal of BDSM or of a session, and one should not expect either of those things by default upon visiting Me. If you want proper sex, go visit a full-service provider. Think with your brain.




Worship


To you, I am a god. That means I expect to be worshiped. How do you worship Me? You obey Me, you learn how to please Me, you follow and don’t try to lead, you communicate your inner thoughts with Me, you tribute Me, you are humble, loyal, dedicated, and respectful. Put Me above you.




Loyalty


I expect you to communicate fully openly with Me. Tell Me what is going on in your life, what you are doing, and what you feel. Have no secrets. Do not hide things from Me you think I do not wish to hear. “Thou shall have no other gods before Me:” I wish to know everything there is to know about you. Tell Me your thoughts as you would a lover or friend.




Attentiveness


Your attentiveness will show you are worthy. Have proper spelling, grammar, and sentence if you communicate with Me through writing. I won’t have written communication with someone who cannot string a sentence together, is functionally illiterate, gives one-word answers, or seems unable of having an intelligent thought process. Be well-groomed, and clean when we meet, or I will throw you out. Remember I am also present in your experience.




Release


If I am regularly seeing you, and you wish to part ways, you will ask respectfully to be released. You will understand that as long as you are under My control, you give up your right to decide to just walk away without at least a conversation or message. If the problem can not be sufficiently resolved, we will agree to part ways. Your information will be vaulted or destroyed upon request, and any property returned. Understand that we live in separate worlds when we are apart.





 Frequently asked questions 

Honesty


Tell the truth at all times, even if you can not or will not follow a direct order. Even if I will “never know that you are lying.” First of all, I will know. Second of all, trust can not be based on lies, and will never be fulfilling if it is. I am not a part of your outside world. I am part of your inner world, and I demand absolute honesty and truthfulness from you. What you say remains with Me. Just tell the truth.




Obedience


I am in charge and that means you will follow My orders. A servant’s heart means that My will is more important than your own and My pleasure comes before your own. Does it hurt? The answer is not important. Are you obeying/pleasing Me? That is the question you should ask yourself. Put Me first, and let Me take the lead.




Respect


I am Sir Brian. Never "dude," "man," "bud," etc. Do not fail to address Me properly before speaking to Me or at the beginning of a communication. My preferred form of address is “Sir,” and I strongly dislike the use of "Master." You will answer questions clearly, maintain proper posture, and ask permission to engage. Take time to show your respect.




Gratitude


Always say thank you. If I punish you, thank Me. I am taking time and energy to teach you a lesson in self-improvement. If I reward you, thank Me. I have noted your efforts and found you worthy of reward. Be thankful for everything that I give to you and everything that I take from you.




Control


If I see you regularly, we will establish rituals and individual rules for you. They may include what you can wear, how and when you contact Me, or even tasks outside of your time with Me, if they are within your reach. During our time together, I am in control. I respect agreed upon interests and limits, but will not accept a "script" or any topping from the bottom. Accept that within given boundaries, you are giving up your control.




Chastity


I am a professional Dominant and a lifestyler. I prefer to keep My visitors in chastity during their time with Me, both because it is one of My personal kinks, and because it fits very well with a professional setting, but I understand some things are limits for everyone. I still expect a form of sexual chastity from you: I will not “get you off” or tolerate open unrequited sexual advances. Sexual release or orgasm is not the end goal of BDSM or of a session, and one should not expect either of those things by default upon visiting Me. If you want proper sex, go visit a full-service provider. Think with your brain.




Worship


To you, I am a god. That means I expect to be worshiped. How do you worship Me? You obey Me, you learn how to please Me, you follow and don’t try to lead, you communicate your inner thoughts with Me, you tribute Me, you are humble, loyal, dedicated, and respectful. Put Me above you.




Loyalty


I expect you to communicate fully openly with Me. Tell Me what is going on in your life, what you are doing, and what you feel. Have no secrets. Do not hide things from Me you think I do not wish to hear. “Thou shall have no other gods before Me:” I wish to know everything there is to know about you. Tell Me your thoughts as you would a lover or friend.




Attentiveness


Your attentiveness will show you are worthy. Have proper spelling, grammar, and sentence if you communicate with Me through writing. I won’t have written communication with someone who cannot string a sentence together, is functionally illiterate, gives one-word answers, or seems unable of having an intelligent thought process. Be well-groomed, and clean when we meet, or I will throw you out. Remember I am also present in your experience.




Release


If I am regularly seeing you, and you wish to part ways, you will ask respectfully to be released. You will understand that as long as you are under My control, you give up your right to decide to just walk away without at least a conversation or message. If the problem can not be sufficiently resolved, we will agree to part ways. Your information will be vaulted or destroyed upon request, and any property returned. Understand that we live in separate worlds when we are apart.





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Brian Oestmann

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